Blonde Jokes Part 12

• What’s the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

  Its difficult to open the legs on an ironing board.

• Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?

  So she can have a doggie bag for later.

• Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?

  Cause it said concentrate.

• How can you tell if a blonde has been using your computer?

  The joystick is wet.

• A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.

  She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you.”

Blonde Jokes Part 11

• Did you hear about the two blondes that drove to California?

  They saw a sign that said “Disneyland Left” so they turned around and went home.

• How do blonde braincells die ?

  Alone.

• How do you confuse a blonde?

  Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.

• How do you amuse a blonde for hours?

  Write ‘Please turn over’ on both sides of a piece of paper.

• What did the blondes right leg say to the left leg?

  Nothing, they haven’t met!

Blonde Jokes Part 10

• Did you hear about the blonde who had an abortion because she
  didn’t know if the baby was hers?
• Why did the blonde have square boobs?
  Have you ever seen a round Kleenex box?
• A blonde took her baby to the doctor to get it’s diaper rash checked. The doctor said, “That’s the worst case of diaper rash I’ve ever seen. How often to you change the baby’s diapers?”
  The blonde said, “well, the package says they’re good for 12-14 pounds.”
• Did you hear about the blond. who was driving to Calgary and saw a sign that said “Clean Restrooms Ahead”?
  By the time she got there she had cleaned 74 -of them.
• What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
  An air pocket.

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Blonde Jokes Part 9

• How does a blonde practice safe sex?

  She locks the car door.

• What do you call 7 blondes standing side by side?

  A wind tunnel.

• What do you call a blonde with an IQ of 50?

  Gifted.

• Why can’t blondes fart?

  Because they never stop talking long enough to build up any pressure.

• Did you bear about the blond who went to the doctor and said

  “For all the good that suppository did, I might as well have

  shoved it up my ass

Blonde Jokes Part 8

• What does a blonde say after sex?Who are you guys?
• Why did they find a blonde on the roof?She heard drinks were on the house.
• What do you call a blonde that has dyed her hair black?Artificial intelligence.
• What do blondes put around their neck to look sexy?Their ankles.
• Why was the blonde so thrilled when she completed the puzzle in six months?The side of the box said up to three years.

Blonde Jokes Part 7

• What do you call a brunette between two blondes?
  An interpreter.
• How many blondes does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?
  Five. One to make the batter, four to peel the M&M’s
• How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer?
  There’s white out on the screen.
• A smart blonde, dumb blonde and a ghost are on a treasure hunt. Who will find the treasure first?
  The dumb blonde – we all know there’s no such thing as smart blondes and a ghost.
• What do you call it when a blonde drives down the street with her head out the window?
  Refueling.

Blonde Jokes Part 6

• How do you make a blonde laugh on Monday?
  Tell her a joke on Friday.
• What does a blonde do first thing in the morning?
  She goes home.
• What’s the advantage to being married to a blonde?
  You can park in the handicapped zone.
• Why don’t blondes use vibrators?
  Because it chips their teeth.
• What does a peroxide blonde and a 747 have in common?
  They both have black boxes.

14 Weird Google suggestions

Google Suggest suggestions can sometimes be very strange

1. Jesus loves me but I make him wear a condom

2. I killed the president of paraguay with a fork

3. I saw mommy kissing tiger Woods

4. I feel like you’re an island of reality in an ocean of diarrhea

5. Penguins are my favorite sort of frogs

6. Someone photoshop sperm on this picture

7. Sarah Palin Killed Michael Jackson

8. I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight

9. Is it wrong to sleep with your step dad after your mom dies

10. I accidentally slept with my sister

11. Never put a sock in a toaster

12. Who stole my dead husband

13. I was bitten by a turtle when I was young lad should I still drink orange juice

14. Sometimes when I’m alone I use Comic Sans