Why being a Man is better

1. Your last name stays put.
2. The garage is all yours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. You can be President.
6. You can never be pregnant.
7. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
8. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
9. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
10. The world is your urinal.
11. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
12. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
    Same work, more pay.
13. Wrinkles add character.
14. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
15. People never stare at your chest when you’re talking to them.
16. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
17. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
18. One mood all the time.
19. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
20. You know stuff about tanks.
21. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
22. You can open all your own jars.
23. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
24. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
25. Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
26. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
27. You almost never have strap problems in public.
28. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
29. Everything on your face stays its original color.
30. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
31. You only have to shave your face and neck.
32. You can play with toys all your life.
33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.
34. One wallet and one pair of shoes — one color for all seasons.
35. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
36. You can ‘do’ your nails with a pocket knife.
37. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
38. You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Celebs Mothers Sayings

ABRAHAM LINCOLN’S MOTHER:
“Again with the stovepipe hat? Can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”

ALBERT EINSTEIN’S MOTHER:
“But it’s your senior picture. Can’t you do something about your hair? OY! Styling gel, Mousse, Something…?”

COLUMBUS’ MOTHER:
“I don’t care what you’ve discovered, You still could have written!”

MICHELANGELO’S MOTHER:
“Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”

NAPOLEON’S MOTHER:
“All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”

MARY’S MOTHER:
“I’m not upset that your lamb followed you to school. But, I would like to know how he got a better grade than you.”

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S MOTHER:
“The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!”

PAUL REVERE’S MOTHER:
“I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man, midnight is past your curfew.”

Rogue Americans

2021: A small group of rogue Americans hijack an airplane and fly it into the Burj Al-Arab, in Dubai. The United Arab Emirates spend the next five years invading Canada and torturing its citizens, eventually leaving over 80,000 dead.

Oops, that’s not funny.

W.I.F.E

Husband asks , “Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
“Without Information Fighting Everytime”

Wife replies,” No, It means ,
“With Idiot For Ever !!!”

Confidential / Confidence

Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential.

Dad says, you are my son, I’m confident. Your friend is also my son, that’s confidential!